C. H. K.

Bill Simmons, in all likelihood, doesn’t watch Golf

“Also, why are we so content with the celebrations we have? I love Ovechkin’s self-check into the boards. It’s fantastic. Why couldn’t someone like Chris Paul make a big shot, wait for the timeout, run over to the scorer’s table, then stage-dive into his sea of teammates like they’re a giant mosh pit? Why couldn’t a golfer hand his putter back to his caddy and his caddy could pretend to be electrocuted by it? Maybe the golfer could pretend that he’s also being electrocuted, and they could stand there vibrating for a couple of seconds? We need more clever celebrations heading into this next decade.”

Or maybe, Bill, the golfer could beat Tiger at the PGA Championship and HOIST HIS 50-POUND STAFF BAG over his head for on national television. The fact that Y.E. Yang’s celebration was omitted from Simmons’ latest column is disappointing at best.